Our relationships with our pets are uncomplicated. They love unconditionally regardless of the color of our hair, our skin, the mood we’re in, our financial status, style, grace, or lack thereof. It is therefore no wonder at all that studies have shown that most pet owners grieve the loss of a pet just as deeply as they might a beloved (human) family member or friend.

Today, pets are unquestionably considered to be family members. They share our beds, are considered “furry grandchildren” and accepted at most family gatherings. Couples may opt to have a pet as a “starter child”, older people seek out pets for companionship and someone to care for when children have left the nest. A child who has difficulties making friends may turn to a pet for a partner in crime. When that pet is gone, a void is left in the space they occupied that one can neither immediately fill, nor immediately overcome.

Yet despite these close relationships we develop, when a pet dies we are confused by the deep feelings of loss we feel for what was basically a “dog” or a “cat” or a “guinea pig”. While we understand that we cannot replace the animal we have lost, we assume our feelings of loss should be less intense. Often well meaning friends and family members will try to help by reminding you that you can get another, forcing those feelings of loss to be defined as “crazy” or “unreasonable”; relegated to your private moments and questioned even then.